Name: Paddy O’Johnson Age: 18-45 Sex: When I can, not that it’s any of your business, Bub. Weight: 15.3 stone, 6.67 slugs, .017 short tons, or 75249.8 scruples Bats: 2, a Giant Golden Crown Flying Fox named Charlie, and a Vampire Bat named Dick Cheney Throws: Fits, pots&pans, the occasional boxing match. Position: upright while awake, horizontal while sleeping. Religion: First Northern Agnostic Church of the Indifferent God(s) Occupation: Procrastination engineer. (I design new ways to waste time.) Likes: things I enjoy; things that amuse me. Dislikes: things I don’t enjoy; things that depress me; useless and otherwise intruding questionnaires and surveys. Favorite foods: 2 kinds – free and prepared by others. Favorite movie: “Solder, Don’t Let This Happen to You: the Tom Hamre Story” (U.S. Army Venereal Training Film no. 23A) Friends say that I’m….assuming that I actually had any friends, they would say I am intensely private. Favorite quote: Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies.
One of the interesting things about Paddy is that he knows about unusual stuff. And when he tells you stuff, you laugh, and as you walk away laughing, you say to yourself, "Hey,...wait a minute..." I think Paddy should write his ideas down in a book.
